The Connorton Family

June 23, 2016

Life Goals

"Mama, when I'm a grownup, Tristan and I are going to be married." Audrey, 4

Stinky Politicians

"I think, for real life, that Donald Trump got sprayed by a skunk. He's stinky."

long pause

"You don't want to be living by Donald Trump."

Audrey, age 4

May 27, 2016

May 26, 2016

Future Hedge Fund Manager

"Mama, I want to buy stock in Fairyland."

Audrey, Age 4

May 24, 2016

Stone Cold Killah'

From Audrey's preschool teacher:

I just need you to know Auz is blowing my mind currently... I am not sure if it is hilarious or something else entirely...

Conversation (from the best of my memory):

Kid: You took two snacks!

Audrey: So.

Kid: That's not allowed.

Audrey: (no verbal response - just an eye narrowing)

Kid: I'm gonna tell on you.

Audrey: I'm gonna tell Garrett to kill you.

Kid gets up sees me and reports... I do my standard tell her you didn't like her words or actions blah blah...

So... I went over to Auz and said: That's really scary.

Audrey: Well he could do it.

Teacher: We can't tell our friends that we are going to have them killed.

Audrey: I'm not going to kill them. Garrett will.

Teacher: You are not allowed to tell your friends that Garrett will kill them.

Audrey: But he does karate and he's really good.

Teacher: (getting flabbergasted): No. He's not allowed to kill your friends and you may not tell them that you want to kill them.

Audrey: Why?

Teacher: Because it's scary.

Audrey: Well, I'm not scared. Garrett practices karate and it's not scary.

Teacher: Telling your friends that you are going to hurt them is scary.

Audrey: I'm not going to hurt them Garret can kill them.

So... I just had to walk away... circular conversation that I got looped into. Pretty funny. Apparently she's got a hit man that can kill painlessly. Kids don't know what kill means anyway but oh la la la. It was pretty funny.

Favorite Superhero

Favorite Animal

Favorite Thing

Favorite Drink

Audrey's Favorite Foods

When Audrey Grows Up

What do you want to be when you grow up?
What does your mom do?
What does your dad do?

Bedtime Shenanigans

May 22, 2016

Ear Decor

After 2 months, 2 attempts by the pediatrician, and countless home treatments Audrey finally lost her sparkle (from her left ear.)

Why?

May 20, 2016

Lunch with Audrey and Lissy.

May 18, 2016

Well, ok then.

Audrey just told me that the palm trees at the yogurt shack are a representation, not real.

May 9, 2016

I get to be this boy's mom.

Top Secret

Daddy, "I have a secret."
Audrey, "What?"
Daddy, "I love you."
Audrey, "That's not a secret. Mommy knows that, Garrett knows that, everybody in the history of the world knows that!"